Bear with me this is a lengthy one.
So yesterday was a bit of a tough day. I've got about 7 weeks until my little girl is due and there are tons of people around me that are having babies as well. I was on Facebook and saw that one of the girls I knew growing up (who is due not to much later than I am) had her baby shower and put up photos. So of course I had to look at them. It looked like a fun shower and there were TONS of people there. I recognized so many of the faces in the photos and it just made me sad.
I am a Navy wife and moved away from my home town over 6 years ago. I left behind my entire family and all the friends and people I grew up with. The house my parents still live in was were I celebrated every birthday from my 1st to my 19th so just imagine I had 19 years of history there and grew up along side many of the same people from kindergarten through high school. I know it might seem silly to some but seeing photos of celebrations with so many people that you've known for so long just makes your heart ache when you are no longer in a place with ties like that.
I envy people who have these big elaborate parties with tons of people who are a part of their daily lives knowing that I gave that up. Do I regret leaving that behind and not getting those experiences, no because I love my husband and where ever he goes is where I will go. If I have to follow him across the ocean I will, but it still hurts to know what you gave up at times. I gave it up for love but miss it at the same time.
To further my sadness my sister is also pregnant and is planning her shower with a couple of our cousins and our mom. It's going to be this big elaborate fancy lucheon tea. It's going to be beautiful and she's expecting 60 guests. I am so happy for her and want her to have the best shower she can (she's been waiting over 5 years for this baby) but at the same time I'm jealous because I know mine isn't going to be what I truely want. I'm going to have to give up some elegance to bring down the cost. I'll be lucky to have 12 guests and extremely lucky to have any family there, and if I do it will be from my hubby's side of the family. I guess I'm also a little jealous that someone else is planning her shower where I am planning my own. I am controlling and like things a certain way so it's best if I'm involved but it kinda hurts that no one has asked to help.
So to sum up my feelings of the day I was yearning for more and saddened that it isn't possible. I wasn't sure if I even wanted to have a baby shower any more. Some of those feelings are still lingering today and I'm sure they will stay there for a while. However, in an attempt to get out of the funk and look forward to my shower again I jumped head in to planning. I've looked all over the internet for things that inspire me and I created an inspiration board. To help me get the best shower for a reasonable price I made a price comparison chart that I can take around town with me so I can make sure I'm getting the most for my money. That way I might be able to afford a little something extra. So I'm trying to put the sadness and gloom behind me and focus on making the best shower I can with what I've got. I need to be grateful that I'm going to have one, that I can afford it and that I do have friends to share it with. I know thats more than some people have. Oh the life lessons we must continue to learn.
Where I found my inspiration:
Top Left - Evie S. Things of Beauty
Top Right - Life In Pictures
Center Left - I Could Make That
Center - Wedding101 Blog
Bottom Left - Emmaline Bride
Bottom Right - Ma Joie Press (Blog)